My pursuit in 2023 has been to map my tribe. 'Tribe' refers to individuals who share my mindset and with whom I aim to pursue similar life goals. Essentially, they are the companions I wish to journey through life with more intently.
As the year drew to a close, I intensified this search through what I termed the 'Club of 30.' The Club of 30 is my thoughtfully curated roster of 30 individuals with whom I wanted to engage in one-on-one conversations about my life goals before the end of the year. I'm pleased to share that I've completed those thirty conversations, the majority held in person and a few via Zoom. Organically, the list expanded as I received recommendations on who else to speak with. As of writing this article, I've conversed with 37 individuals regarding my plans. So in reality, it is Club of 30 + 7 but Club of 30 has a nice ring to it.
So, what have I learned about my tribe through the Club of 30? The most affirming insight gleaned from these discussions is that like-minded people can emerge from any corner of the world. Conversely, people I grew up with might not necessarily share my thoughts. For someone creatively inclined and driven by wanderlust like myself, this revelation is empowering as it signifies that I can find a tribe anywhere I go.
Another crucial lesson from my 30 + 7 conversations is that my tribe encompasses various kinds of people:
LOVERS
I employ this term with utmost sincerity. These are individuals with whom I resonate deeply as we exchange ideas. They inherently understand me, and even in an initial conversation, I find them remarkably familiar. For instance, after attending my Citylab talk in DC, someone suggested, 'You should meet so-and-so in Cape Town, she thinks just like you!' Fortunately, I was to be in Cape Town shortly thereafter, and upon meeting this person, we discovered a striking similarity in our mindsets as foretold.
This synchronization often feels like a mycelial network that is mutualistic (go read about mushrooms and fungi haha). As expected, I'm most likely to synchronize with individuals I've known for a while. And when it does happen, it is so life-affirming, just like in a mycelial network. For instance, a former colleague I have known since 2012, had this new twinkle in his eye when we mused over how we will create innovative content for our collaboration in 2024. Perhaps that twinkle was always there; I was simply too distracted to notice it before.
In another case, I was introduced to an innovator who happened to be in Nairobi for a few days recently. She understood my thinking so well that she mapped out for me my next three years and detailed four pathways for our future collaboration. Our immediate understanding of each other's work despite our diverse backgrounds and training left me astounded.
SUPPORTERS
The Club revealed to me that I have a core group of lovers, surrounded by a wider circle of supporters. My supporters are not exactly over the moon about my wild ideas, but they think I’m onto something. They offer good advice, and point me in the right direction, but are not too keen on going down rabbit holes as I expound on my wild 2024. One jokingly said, ‘Amollo, following your heart will be your ruin haha.’ Then he offered to let me use his co-working space to meet new contacts.
CHALLENGERS
I'm uncertain if the people who challenge me truly belong to my tribe, but they might prove valuable, right? They question my ideas, telling me straight up that some are foolish. Admittedly, I don’t have too many challengers in the Club of 30 because I naturally gravitate towards like-minded individuals. However, wanting to be open-minded, I've sat down with a few people I suspected might not understand me but were worth listening to. Their prodding has indeed been helpful as it forced me to clarify or reconsider some of my ideas.
The most constructive pushbacks, though, come from lovers who genuinely care about me and can point out my blind spots. I've chosen to keep these individuals close as I navigate the uncharted territories of 2024 and beyond.
HOW TO START YOUR VERY OWN 'CLUB OF 30'
Have extremely wild ideas.
Draw up a list of 30 people who will give you at least 30 minutes of their time in the next 3 months.
Start with people you know, then ask for new contacts. If you have sufficiently revolutionary ideas, you will be introduced to lots of people, easily.
Spice up your list. Talk to men, women, young, established, from any country.
Vary the setting for each meeting if possible. Some can be hikes, others can be early Sunday breakfasts, and others can be spa dates.
Maintain a separate calendar for these meetings. Call it the ‘life calendar’ and be religious about making these meetings.
Listen intently.
Don’t cancel any confirmed meetings. I canceled one in favor of another and now I can’t get a meeting with the person I canceled on. Somehow, I feel I have missed out on something truly profound.
Follow ups:
Follow up after a couple of days with the people you clicked with the most,
Follow up after a couple of weeks with people who gave good advice,
Reflect on the challenging questions and pushbacks,
Do weed out your detractors, slowly. Don’t be afraid of criticism but also don’t surround yourself with toxicity.
Most importantly, find the people who are willing to follow you to the gates of hell but can walk with you to the promised land. These are your true tribesmen.
*The image at the top is one of my 2012 paintings: Black & white, Acrylics on canvas. I don't remember the title but I look at it every morning and night to commemorate how art got me through one of my darkest years.
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